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November 19, 2007 --

Maggie Fox, one half of comedy duo Lip Service, talks to Steve Pratt about their latest production, a James Bond spoof which is coming to the...

December 1, 2004 --

Byline: David Williamson so here are some creatures which did not suffer in their stuffing.

Americans can drive cars the size of the...

April 7, 2005 --

Wed 13 Apr The Forum, 9-17 Highgate Road, NW5 (0870 060 3777)

Watching quirk-laden Brighton band British Sea Power play live, it...

I've just recently seen Harry Potter 6, and I felt none of the magic of the earlier movies(my favorite is Prisoner of Azkaban, then Chamber of secrets). In HP6, the storyline seemed too jumbled together, and the elements of the teen angst going on was done so badly one gets the impression tht the directors just threw that stuff in(even though the teen lovey-dovey stuff was in the book). And stuff that makes the movie as wacky and amazing at first(like the jellybeans giving you animal voices or the strange mythical like creatures in earlier movies) wasnt present or not atleast not as much. I guess thats because the storyline is getting darker, but these elements are what made me like Harry Potter so much. Also, staring with either the fourth movie(Goblet of Fire) or fifth(Order of the Pheonix), the movies became hard to follow if you hadnt read the book anyway, which shouldn't happen. Do you agree And to the dude that says that i said you need to read the books first, i didnt say that. I just said that even if you hadnt read any book from the beginning, you may start to get confused around the 4th or 5th movie because the movies aren't done as well starting with the 4th or 5th. Before that, they were fine though

At my job, theres this lady who is pushing about 2' inches in height, she's got bushes of excess hair screaming from her ears (like a man), a boxed shamed figure with some ultra bold shoulder blades, waddles across the floor and storms around with a bent lip just eyeballing the scene. This little gremlin looking animal seems to punk the entire crew and she's not punking me. I made this clear thee other day with words that slapped her rolling eyes in to a straight stare in front of the manager. Now, I'm receiving sniffs, huffs and puffs coming from the pint sized manager. I assume he's stuffing her on the low. But anyway, my point is that the clearer she understands that throwing mountains of food on the floor (only to watch her pick em' up) is one of my specialties in the restaurant business, the better I will treat her. How's it possible? Ideas? I know, Ima true vet. I am. Me. Yeah, that's who! I know it's got to be hard living, living with an non-feasible first, or rather always impression, not to mention an intolerable smell that steams from her pants. I'm so anti-drama, that I felt the next best thing to do was "call the manager" in regards to her funk blast coming from her pants..... Later on, I noticed her being yelled at in the corner by our lie believing bored manager. I made sure to walk by a thousand times interrupting them with extra large beautiful smiles to get there attention, of course really to hint her that I was the tattle teller. After dropping food on the floor and watching her pick it up later that evening, I pretended to feel bad about voicing her reak to the manager, by fake tearing in admitance to her trouble some. At least I care. Sort of. Ah, life is grand. So, is there anything that I can do to make her feel, at least, somewhat decent looking? Advice?

Lima, Ohio. Quiet town, decent school, decent place to live...and home of the mysterious other half of my DNA. Annoyed, I tucked my blonde hair behind my ear to stop it from blowing in the wind and getting all over my face. I looked out the window as we drove past yet another sign, and sighed. Signs...those were all I seemed to be seeing. When would the car finally stop? It wasn't that I didn't like Lima. I just liked where we used to live better. Before my dad starts yap-yap-yapping about how much I'm going to love Lima, I'd better introduce you to him. Better to have your first impression of him be my half-decent introduction then his boring blabberama about when he used to teach at William McKinley High where I'm going next year. My dad's name is Will Schuester, and he's fourty-five. As I already told you, you idiot, he used to teach Spanish and glee club at William McKinley. Though, for a former Spanish teacher, his Spanish accent is pretty mediocre. People say he looks like Matthew Morrison, who's an actor or something. It wasn't often that I had people tell me I look like any celebrity, though in my opinion, Jessalyn Gilsig and me looked quite a bit alike. I definitely did not take after my dad, in looks or personality. Sometimes, I thought we weren't related. He and my mom got a divorce before I was even, like, born. After she had me, she dumped me on my dad, and I haven't seen her since. She didn't even bother to show up when he took her to court, giving him full custody. Parental abandonment, much? Thanks a lot, Mom. If I can even call you that. I turned around to face my dad in the driver's seat. The sun lightened his curly brown hair. His eyes were on the road, but he looked distant, like his mind was elsewhere. I was tempted to ask what he was thinking about, but I was in the mood to crab about something. Cheerful was not my thing. "Dad," I groaned, peeling some old nail polish off my thumb. "Why do we have to go here? I wanna go back home, live out in the country again. I miss all the farms and stuff." He chuckled. "What, you miss having to drive everywhere? Sitting next to that BO kid on the bus? Not living near other kids your age? And Kim, you didn't like it when we actually lived there. Remember? You complained about being able to smell the manure, and how our neighbors were so rude, always letting their animals loose." Those were all true. "Plus, you can walk to school now, and when you make friends, you'll be able to hang out with them more. And Emma's house won't be hours away anymore." Emma was Dad's on-and-off girlfriend, and my surrogate mother. In this case, I meant "mother figure," not "egg-donor." "Why do I have to switch schools, anyway? My old one was close to where we're gonna live." "Yes, but it was in a different neighborhood, and most of the kids in this neighborhood we're moving into go to this one. Maybe they'll like you?" "Or maybe I'm just being a grouch," I muttered, a little mad. I turned around and put my headphones on, jacking the volume up very loud. Notice I said "headphones on" and not "earbuds in?" I don't have an iPod, you see. I still use CD players. iPods were kind of stupid, and annoyingly popular, in my opinion. I mean, seriously...what is the point of iPod and phone apps when people who want to play video games can just go out and buy a Nintendo DS? I fell asleep with my head on the armrest, and woke up with the taste of old spit in my mouth. Yuck, I couldn't wait to wash it out, preferably with Coca-Cola Zero. Not Diet Coke; I hated that stuff. "Honey," Dad whispered, nudging me. "We're here." My eyes fluttered open and I sat up. There it was, our new house. It was painted a nice red color. I begrudgingly liked it. I'd seen it before, but it seemed different now that it was really my home. Yes, the identity of Kim's mother is obvious on purpose. Actually, it *does* have something to do with Glee, because Kim is Will's daughter with ***** (who will show up, wanting her daughter, later). Criticism is well appreciated!

My best friend was born and raised in america, she is of an indian decent (meaning the country india, not native americans) She is really sweet, she play's guitar, she loves animals, she likes stuff like harry potter, tim burton movies, etc. She's a little shy though, but she's really funny. The problem is I cant see why she doesnt have a boyfriend, guys dont seem to be very interested in her I dont get it. She's the only one in our little group of friends that hasnt had a boyfriend ( not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just I always thought she'd be the first) She has some guys who are friends but nothing more. I know she feels kind of akward being around us with out a guy. She's my best friend, we're like sisters. Whenever we ask her if she want to tag along, the poor thing always says "no, you guys have fun". Me and my BF hate seeing her like that ( he's known her forever too) I just dont get it she seems like the ideal girl friend, she's pretty( a cute sort of pretty), and funny, AND she plays guitar. Dont guys like girls like that? So it made me think maybe it's because it's because she's indian. I mean the other indian girls in my high school dont have BF's either. I mean are people under the impression that she's engaged or something?? She's a very apprachable person too. She's really care free and her and her family arent that religious at all (she's hindu) BTW- I not just assuming things, I've talked to her and she told me she would love a BF. yeah but the think is guys dont even look at her and she's pretty, she has a small nose, medium length black hair, and gorgeous dark brown eyes. I've even been told by one of her guy friend's that he thinks she's pretty ( he has a girl friend tho)

Well, I'll post the first chapter...Here it is.... Chapter One It was midnight. The glowing moon bathed the forest in silvery light, throwing everything into sharp shadows. I inhaled deeply, the smell of pine lingered in my nostrils. Free at last. Free from that hellish school. Free to do what I wanted to do with my life, not what I was destined for. I sank to the needle covered floor. I suddenly felt exhausted. I dropped my head onto my knees and took deep breaths. The memory of yesterday flickered beneath my closed lids. * * * * * It was October 13th, my birthday, the day that I turned sixteen. I was sitting on my hard bed with thirteen different photos clasped in my shaking hand. The pain that swept through my body was mind boggling. I had never felt such misery before. It ripped at my heart, tore it to pieces. In my hand I held pictures of the life that I might have had, the family that was almost mine. The family that I was snatched from the day of my birth. A new emotion ripped at me. It was anger. Blinding, blood thirsty anger. Those monsters. They took me away from my mother, from my father. The people who had created me. My own flesh and blood. I had stood up and stuffed the pictures angrily into a wooden box. I then threw that box roughly under my bed. I stormed out of the room. I needed to get my anger out somehow. Somehow without hurting anybody, or myself. I was so done with hurting anybody. That was what I had been raised for. To fight. To kill. To exterminate. To use my powers for evil. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. My feet were flying, taking me to where I needed to be without me even having to think. There was a monster inside of me, trying to claw its way out. I started running, running from the monster, from myself. I was a monster. How many people had died at my hand? Twenty? Thirty? Fifty? Innocent creatures with families who they loved. Love. The word made me want to spit. There was no love in this place. Only hate. This was a place of pure hatred. I was at school, if you could even consider this sick place a school. The school was hidden in a thick forest away from civilization, away from people who might notice what we were doing. We were being trained. Trained to be emotionless evil beings. To kill first and ask questions later. Trained to use our gift to hurt people. That cursed gift. That gift had ruined my life. It was destroyed now, there was no turning back the clock. As I flew down the hall I passed a mirror. I caught sight of my reflection from the corner of my eye. I stopped, shocked, that that girl could possibly be me. She was tall and strong looking, with long lean limbs. Her hair fell like a thick and glossy curtain to her waist. Her skin was snow white, with a flush of color in her cheeks. Her eyes, wide with surprise, were a deep violet color. It was not my face that had surprised me, but the expression on it. I had been under the impression that my teeth were gritted together in anger, that I had drawn my dark eyebrows low over those strange violet eyes to give myself a menacing look. I had been wrong. My face was twisted in an expression of unholy pain. My mouth was turned down in a grimace, my eyebrow pulled up in the middle giving me a pathetic look of weakness. But it was the eyes that really caught me off guard. The deep violet color, usually hardened over, was glowing bright. Shining from a pain directly from my mangled heart. My long dark eyes lashes were stuck together in little clumps from the wetness leaking from them. I was crying. The anger that lashed out was sudden and intense. My expression didn’t change, but there was a slight hardening of my eyes. The tears continued to stream down my face. I had not cried since I was three years old. I thought that I had lost that ability. Apparently not. My reflections mouth dropped into a perfect ‘o’. The screech that I emitted sounded like that of a tortured animal. It hurt my ears. I let my fist snap out and smash into the glass. It shattered, sending sparkling bits in every direction. Blood dripped down the gash in my knuckles. I ignored it, I had had worse. The sound of feet running down the hall reached my ears. My scream of fury shattered the sound barrier. It echoed from the halls. Whoever was running skidded to a stop then started running with grater speed, toward me. I turned around slowly and crossed my arms over my chest. I waited for the person to catch up. “Lily?” It was Master. I felt the inclination to dip into a curtsey but suppressed it. I pressed my lips into a thin line. “What is the meaning of all of this?” “I’m done,” I spat at him. “I quit.” His thick black eyebrows disappeared up under his greasy head of black hair. “You can’t quit.” He tried to keep his voice in control but his anger had seeped in nonetheless. “I can and I am.” I kept my voice even and cool. “I’m done killing innocent creatures.” He chuckled darkly and began to pace in front of me. “Lily, we only kill dangerous creatures who threaten humans. That what we witches must do. It is a grim job but, alas, we must do it.” He let his face slip into a resigned look. It was only slightly over done. “Those creatures,” I hissed at him. “have families.” Master suddenly smiled and set his hand on my shoulder. I slapped it away. “I see what this is about,” he sighed. “You miss your family.” A flame lashed out from within me. “I don’t! I don’t even know them! But still, I know what it’s like to have your life ripped out from under you. You did it to me when I was just a baby.” I glared at him icily. Master nodded slowly. He kneaded his forehead. “Lily, dear,” he said. I growled. “When our spy called in and told us that a violet eyed baby had just been born, I had to come and fetch you. To raise you. To train you.” “You had to do no such thing!” I yelled. “You could have left me with my parents. Left me to grow up a normal girl! Well it’s to ! Well it’s too late for that, now.” “It is to late.” His expression changed from a weary, slightly frustrated one to an oddly cold one that made me shiver. “Since you were a baby you have showed exceptional talent. Your untamable emotions give your powers strength. You are the most powerful witch here, well, besides myself.” I ground my teeth together. “I will never kill again,” I vowed. “It is you’re destiny.” “Well, I’m choosing my own destiny,” I said coolly. He glared at me. “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” His tone frightened me. He reached out with one hand, as if to grab my arm. Something inside of me snapped. My hand flew out in front of me. A flash of blinding silver light and a deafening boom. Then silence. I gasped. Master was lying on the floor at an odd angle. His neck was crooked and his legs were bent awkwardly. Oh no. I knelt and pressed my ear to his chest. The sound of his beating heart echoed in my ear. I breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t dead. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t do this anymore. I was no longer killing “dangerous” creatures. I wouldn’t be a monster anymore. * * * * I raised my head from my knees. Tears were streaming down my dirty face. My chest heaved with sobs. My heart ached. It had been ripped and mangled so much that I wasn’t even sure it was a heart anymore. The sound of a twig snapping echoed off the trees. Normally I would have snapped my head up but I was to distracted by my pain to take much notice. I did however look up when I heard a faint gasping sound. A young man, somewhere around my age, was staring at me with wide, shocked eyes. “Who are you?” he asked softly. “My name is Lily…Stone,” I quickly made up. A small stone lying next to his foot had caught my eye. “William Calloway,” he said. His voice was low and gentle. Absolutely beautiful. He knelt and extended a hand out to me. “Is there something wrong?” I took his hand and he tugged me with one swift jerk to my feet. I shook my head then eyed him suspiciously. “What are you doing out so late?” His expression faltered and then his calm mask returned. “Just out for a stroll.” I recognized the lie one the first word. “Me too.” I lied right back. He chuckled. He had a nice laugh. Low and ringing. “Fine, so I’m not out for a stroll. But I don’t exactly know you and…” “And I might be dangerous,” I finished for him. He nodded, looking guilty. “Sorry.” I shrugged. “Trust me, I know about danger,” I mumbled. I had meant for it to be so low that he couldn’t hear it but appa rently William had excellent hearing. His eyebrows arched. I cleared my throat and took a step away from him, out of the shadows and into the moonlight. William’s roar of fury startled me. I instantly backed away from him. “What the hell was that about?” I yelled at him. He glared at me with a look of pure hatred. “You’re a witch!” he spat at me. I blinked, shocked and lowered my outstretched arms. “What? No! No, I’m not a witch!” “Liar!” he hissed. “You’re one of them. The violet eyes. The evil ones!” I growled at him, low and menacing. He crouched into a low position, his lips pulled back over his glistening teeth. I saw how the moon reflected off their perfection. And I saw how his canines were long and pointed. Vampire. “You’re a vampire!” I whispered in surprise. He hissed and launched himself at me. I waved one hand and he dropped to the ground howling and withering in pain. “I’m sorry! Reflex.” He glared up at me with glassy eyes. Now that we were out of the shadows I could see that they were a stunning emerald green. “You’re a murderer. You killed my family!” he roared. I didn’t attempt to defend myself this time. I let him tackle me to the ground, startle my chest, and begin pounding on my face. I lay sprawled on the ground, holding perfectly still, taking each blow with the knowledge that I deserved it. I was a murderer. He shouldn’t be hitting me, he should be killing me. Beating someone who didn’t fight back didn’t seem to cut it for William. He stopped punching my face and stared at me with a combination of anger and confusion. I stared back without emotion. “I deserved that,” I said simply. “Damn right,” he growled, then blinked in surprise. “What?” “I deserved that,” I repeated. His emerald eyes widened. “What do you mean?” he asked slowly. He was still startling my chest. “I mean that I deserved that. How much clearer do I have to be?” I asked icily. He blinked and then slowly climbed off of me. I rubbed my ribs that he had j been crushing. A twig snapped nearby. He grabbed me by the throat and slammed me into a tree. “You have friends with you?” he growled. I laughed coldly. “I have no friends.” His grip relaxed and he let me crumple to the ground. “What are you doing out here?” he asked me, staring at my crumpled form. I pulled myself to my feet. “Running away,” I said bitterly. “I’m done with that place.” His beautiful eyes widened further. “What?” “Slow, aren’t you?” I said harshly. He took several steps away as I pulled myself to my feet. “Look,” I said impatiently crossing my arms. “If you want to kill me, just get it over with.” I lifted my thick hair from my neck and leaned my head to the right side. “Go on. Bite me.” To my surprise he took a step forward, his face hardened with grim determination. My heart leapt but I remained still, keeping my hair pulled back from my neck. I expected, and deserved, for him to kill me, but I had not expected him to be so willing. Something in his ey flickered. He paused for a moment, then let out and ear-splitting yell and fell to the ground. I gasped as I saw Master standing beside him, one arm outstretched. He was smiling down at William, who lay motionless on the floor, with a twisted smile on his face. He looked up, saw me standing frozen on the spot, and his sick smile widened. “Lily…Stone was it?” His grin widened, if possible, further. “Giving up without a fight. You’ve changed much in so little time, dear Lily.” He continued to leer at me. I let my hair fall back down to cover my neck and raised my chin high. My eyes flickered downward and saw that William was stirring on the ground. “I have changed,” I said softly. William was pulling himself to his feet, his ey were pinned on Master’s back. I met his gaze and nodded slightly. “For the better. NOW!” William jumped and landed on Master’s back. He wrapped his strong arms around Master’s chest, pinning his arms at his side, and positioned his head so that his fangs were at the Master’s neck. Master’s eyes widened and he began thrashing around, attempting to throw William off. William sank his teeth into Master’s neck, who howled in pain and dropped to the ground. William rolled off his back and turned on me, his eyes had a slightly crazy gleam in them. He took a step forward and I lifted my hair again. Again there was a slight flicker in his eyes. He stopped and stood there staring at my pale neck, glowing white in the moonlight. He shook his head as if to rid his mind of bad thoughts, and stepped forward. He grabbed my arms and leaned in to bite me. I kept my eyes open, staring at Master on the ground. William’s lips brushed my neck, I felt his teeth graze my skin softly. Again he hesitat “Go on,” I said, my voice shaking. He sank his teeth into my neck. I screamed, though I had planned not to. He pulled his mouth back and stared into my eyes. He looked horrified. “NO!” I yelled. Master was at his feet. He slashed the air. Without thinking I flung myself in front of William. There was a searing pain in my chest and I fell to the floor. “No!” William yelled. I lay gasping in pain on the floor. I pressed my hands against the wound, attempting to stem the flow. Warm, sticky blood coursed through my fingers. I gasped and pulled my hands away, feeling sick as I saw the thick crimson blood that glistened in the moonlight. I heard a scream, and knew it wasn’t my own. There was a thud and suddenly someone’s arms were around me. I stared blearily upward. My eyes locked with William’s. “No,” he breathed. I leaned my head back and gasped in pain. Let it end, I begged silently. Let me die, please. The pain was too much for me to handle. My neck burned where William had bi bitten me and the gash across my chest stung horribly. I closed my eyes, tears seeping out from beneath their lids. When I opened them I realized that William was still staring at me. “Lily,” he said softly. Then he pulled my limp body closer and pressed his lips against mine. For a moment everything stopped. The pain disappeared, my breathing halted, and my heart seemed to stop beating. All I could feel were his warm lips pressed against mine. I used my last bit of energy to kiss him back. My lips moved gently against his. Then I sighted and fell back to the ground. My eyes slipped shut at last. Also, please tell me why. Thank you! Oh, sorry about how some of the words cut off. I couldn't get it to post perfectly.

One of the most frustrating things about getting a new puppy is their drive to chew. But, you must remember that it is, in fact, a drive. Dogs do not chew things out of spite or malice, they do so out...